Living in Between the Worlds

I came back to Connecticut 3 weeks ago to what would turn out to be a “hot zone” for the Covid 19 virus. What was supposed to be 3 months of solid work vaporized. I am living in my car for all the safety precautions for social isolating and the reality of not having the financial means to participate in the system that is now collapsing. I have no symptoms. I’m health. I have bills. A tiny amount of cash. And the responsibility to be a good citizen, trusted leader to those who look to me in times of crisis and decent human being.

In the tiny capsule of my car I have a routine. Get up stretch, get coffee, sit by the lake and write, think, pray, text/call/ touch base with people, wipe everything down, wash hands repeatedly, take a walk, drum, put offerings up on the internet, eat, figure out where I can get a shower, photograph nature, read social media, listen, cry, and then find a safe place to sleep at night…. repeat.

I am grateful. I have enough to eat. My health. People who love me. I am surrounded by beautiful things.

Yet…. it is all just out of reach. Like a dream where everything feels slightly out of sync and no one can hear you even if your standing right in front of them. Like some embodied ghost. I live in a world that I am isolated from.

The mechanics of survival are easy for me. I have skills. I can problem solve. Build things. It’s a long list my students have tapped into more than once. The term”Google Adhi” as been said many times during retreats. I have faced all kinds of situations and figured out how to move forward. Even when I was scared, didn’t have a clue, wasn’t sure of the outcome.

This where I am at. This in between place. Waiting to see what happens and how best to approach and apply my skills for the greater good.

Signs 2

The coffee steam rises to form clouds of insight pressing for images left in folds from dreams lost. The wind a constant stream of voices tangled in prayers and pleas shaking the trees….dropping fruits, unripe yet full of story seeds. Hands wash the past off in hopes of finding touch. Waves curl to the shore bringing the gifts from grief’s journey. The moon hangs in her fullness casting shadows with her borrowed light. The owls hunt mice…. ancestors sleep and dream this world into being.

Awakening…..

We could continue  to dance the political minefield of who’s to blame in the Covid-19  virus spreading, the mishandling of the testing, and such. I get it. This sucks pretty bad. It’s  scary.

Something  to think about…. a little perspective, this virus does NOT give a crap about your political affiliation race, religion,  wealth or lack of it….  it wants to succeed  in  surviving. It’s  living life.

With this in mind,  maybe we need to stop and take this time of pause to redirect our priorities.  What divides us in this current situation will make many sick and could kill many of us… 
Is that worth the fear,  hate and anger we spread towards each other? When the economy  collapses  will all the hoarding  keep you safe? Are all your  digital gadgets  and such going to give you comfort and fulfillment?  Will the prayers of your Gods be answered?

We come into this world naked and leave just as naked. Everything we acquire and do during this life is only as valued  as the myths we create around it. And this earth will swallow us and all of it back into itself and spit put something new as it had done forever.

The Gods we fear are not money, stock markets,  the pundits of the powerful, Governments and the laws that chain us to the the grindstone  of Capitalism.

The Gods we fear are us. The beautiful things we create and do. The way we live and care. Our curiosity and compassion. The deeply human qualities that have gotten lost in the false ideologies of money and power.

Our wealth is in us. We have an opportunity now to take action to change  and become  the things that we lost need to heal.  Our value is not in what we have but who we are.

Signs

The omens mingle with the daylight. Casting shadows along the mind roads. Wandering in dreams held at arms length. Breathing the myths in long inhales in hopes for exchanging clues into the blood. Moral entropy is the dust the blots out the horizon. The wind tosses the long grass creating waves that ripple cross the open fields. The blue sky holds it’s position and waits.

At the cross roads the signs read, “There” and “Here”. The one on the ground says, “Now”. The heart thinks it knows the right choice. Muscle memory hears the whisper of broken songs. Clouds grow in the anticipation of mind storms. Precipitation gathers in the eyes.

Memories ghost the present moment obscuring the view. Twisting directions to fit tentative navigations. Shoe laces are undone. The sun leads and the day ends in reds.

This Opportunity

Dramatic Sky – 2020

Every once and a while humanity gets the opportunity to sort it self out. Rise to the occasion. Get our shit together and make huge changes that make the world a better place for everyone. If your not awake yet, take a slug of coffee or tea…. brace yourself…. this means you. We have all been slogging along in the muck of the last few years hoping some thing or some one will some how magically bend time and space to shift the ugly and horrific in to beautiful things and such… It isn’t going to happen that way.

What we have is us. Look around. We are every where in all the diversity of natural design and the abilities. Our survival successes can be mapped all over the globe. Of course some of these successes were not brilliantly thought out and there are consequences for that. Some have become the opportunities for significant change we are facing now.

When I was in the desert this winter, I listened to the earth. I watched the passage of time each day. I witnessed the diversity of a place weave together a process of success and survival. It was through the symbiotic relationships of plants, animals, insects, water, air, earth , etc…. it was through this pause in my travels that I was able to comprehend the next steps to make in bringing balance to this world in my small capacity.

What I became aware of were the separation of long cycles from short cycles. Long cycles are all about how we adapt to the earth, climate, seasons, weather, nature, etc…. Short cycles are the ones that encompass the choices we make in a life time. These are social and politically based. They are the ways we create laws to govern civility and social structures. Which is finite and often an abstraction based on the projection of a community’s needs in relation to nature. They aim to control long cycles with short term goals.

If we look at the long history of humanity we can see the issues this has created. Encapsulating our survival in a bubble of fragile safety on the earth. These short cycle methods also bring violence. Comodifying resources… the false stability of economics as a social, political, and humanitarian foundation. This is today the rotting footing where we stand. Poverty is one of the largest products produce by short cycles. Cultivated with all it’s associated issues.

Our crisis point today has come at the mercy of a successful participant of long cycles. A virus. It’s contagious. It’s hardy and aggressive. It is really happy with the way we have created the perfect environment for it’s proliferating. This virus is part of a lineage of similar viruses that share the same genetic material. They have learned to adapt and recognize long cycles. They figured out the “for the next seven generations” thing…

I started this by stating we are facing a great opportunity. I mean that. We have the ability to shift course and make changes that offer connection to longer cycles and deeper intimacy with nature. I’m also not saying we need to give up our techniques or good fruits of evolutionary success.

Diversity and adaptation have always been the strength of a successful species. Investing in relationships that are meaningful with each other and to the planet. We need more kindness in the world. The product of kindness is love.

With the spread of Covid-19 we are being ask to pause in the daily movements and social activities. This is for some the first opportunity to reflect and be still on the current affairs of this country. We have been bouncing around from one crisis to the next without much time to sit in the stillness. Finding time to reflect. Feel. Listen.

We can use this time to begin building a plan for change. We will get through this together by embracing our humanity. Discovering our richness of spirit. Taking actions that bring us closer to the longer rhythms and cycles of rhe climate and of this earth. Humanity will changeand. We have to roll with it. We are part of all this. We are all responsible for it.

Plagues and Prophecies

Full moon with clouds – 2020

I stopped thinking I could predict the future after many failed relationships where I clearly did not read the “signs” correctly. Getting my heart broken over and over is a motivator for a different way. Divination can be a lazy way out of taking responsibility. False optimism no matter how strong can not sway the reality of people, places and things. I have tried. I’m stubborn and persistent too. None of my barting with the powers that be made magic. They provided plenty of lessons for introspection, growing, learning more about myself and how I navigate the world.

I think on some deep level humans want to feel in control and have some power over their destiny. It makes sense when we look at the complexity and volatility of the earth and nature. To want some kind of safe understanding of our purpose here.

In our naked state we are fragile creatures with a developed brains and thumbs. We survive through the process of problem solving and creativity. Curiousity becomes the vehicle that carries our ability to look at the world and imitate, discover, design and elaborate on the patterns and designs found in nature. We do this in order to build and cultivate the world to our needs. We have our unique skill set for this and so do the billions of other species we co-habit the planet with.

California mugwart- 2020

Some where in this long history of us we began to develop language and writing. In general, writing was used to communicate, document daily exchanges, and also predict the relationship between us and the world around us. The idea of prophecy and divination…. to connect to the deep under current of things or to the cosmic forces that run the cogs and wheels of this universe. Personified, these become Gods, Goddesses, the spirits of places, and the demons of disruption.

We find these kinds of ideologies all over the planet. They are formed and attributed to the geography, social hierarchy of people. They control/define the intellectual growth and knowledge of the community. We can see this in the mega churches across America and in the tribal villages in remote parts of the world.

Night Clouds- 2020

As I’m writing this today the world is struggling to stop a pandemic. There is a locust swarm eating it’s way across eastern Africa. The Earth is burning in places…. the world economy is showing the cracks of collapse…. the waters are rising… famines…. war….. etc…. These are the predictions from prophecies that were written by those who sought to warn us of our current situation. If I was of less education I might think we are in the end times. (I do have a lot of empathy for those who do feel this.)

When the stability of reality desinigrates and the fragile grasp we have on the patterns that weave our lives together unravel we are forced into shock, fear, denial, and all the irrational thoughts and feelings that come when the world seems unsafe. Xenophobia, blame, rage, and all the reactionary responses kick in and humanity does terrible things in the name of survival. Some use their Gods to justify the changes and the use of violence towards others. Some look for the prophecies to guide the way… Charlatans tease out a lucrative profit from the ferment and fear.

These mind and emotional plagues are more damaging than the microbes and climate shifts that started the process. If anything at this time I hope we can bring about a new age of reason. Where we rise above our fears and figure out how to work together. We throw out the Gods and spirits that were designed to control and meter the education and ideas of so many. Perhaps this is my thin line of optimism… dressed up as a small prediction…. a human prophecy that we embody to carry us forward through these times.

We are not going to solve our situation(s) by using the same thinking, actions and beliefs. All that got us here in this moment. And for many it has become the unacceptable burden of living right now. I also know it takes a bit of chaos to shake up new ideas.

Sacred Space….

Healing circle – 2020

The sacred is a circle defined by the edge of smoke curling out of the abalone shell. Filling the room with  haze. A scent of white sage. Flickering Mary candle light. Tiny offering  bundles. The intentions set and the invocations made. Together. Intwined with the willingness to recieve. Magic begins.

It’s Late…

I’m feeling the Moon~~~~~~(–)~~~~~ or perhaps it is
the Sun flares~~~~{(–)}~~~~~~ or….. the Stars~~☆~~~~~~☆~~or maybe its the cosmic swirl~~~~~ {{((@))}}~~~~or that dance of persistent creative force that binds all and prevents the entire universe from shattering ~~~~<《{{((*)}}》~~~~~~~>>>>>>

Any way I’m not sleepy…

Time is a Taylor

Insights

Connect the dots
Making sense of the shards…
Fragments…

The sharp edges….

The tiny bits that remain under the skin and move through the blood stream

The vigilant immunity of clarity
Fighting the infection of
Irrational thoughts
Feelings…. grieving

Time is a taylor
reconnecting the fibers
with each stitch weaving the story
and threads of understanding
Sewing a quilt of Forgiveness